Remember me?

Back at my computer with a glass of red wine and an open window letting the night air waft in... Tonight, for the first time in a few weeks, I can feel myself starting to come out of the fog. My eyes are roaming, more than darting. And I'm breathing slowly in time to some airy Azure Ray song humming out of the speakers.

Home...

Today I was asked by someone of importance, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I immediately responded with, "I don't want to grow up," which is both completely honest and a way of darting the question, because, really...who does? Who are the people who can answer that with certain conviction? Especially if you work in Corporate America? WHO is the dolt who responds with, "I want to be a Sr. Director of Marketing Communications. It's my reason for getting out of bed in the morning." I don't want to know that person. That person doesn't know that the Roger Rabbit is simultaneously the most ridiculous and fabulous dance move ever. It is - and I'm quite good at it.

When I grow up... I want to be an environmentalist and a tap dancer. I want to design jewelry and write a book. I want to go to Italy with nothing on the agenda other than to eat, drink and see it all. I want to take more surfing lessons and vent my frustrations by throwing paint onto a blank canvas. I want to model Manolo Blahniks and be a world-class chef. I want to travel from Antarctica to Iceland and everywhere in between. I want to spend my birthdays skydiving and swinging in a hammock tied to 2 palm trees. And sure, I want to tackle the corporate world too, but marketing doesn't sound like much fun compared to the rest of it. (Well, maybe being an environmentalist isn't fun, but it is important. So there.)

I don't want to have to decide today. The fog is still in mid-lift and I feel the need to treat myself gently during the evenings and weekends, because weekdays are nothing but a battlefield. Tonight I just want to sip my wine, resolve that I will try my hardest to not let my little blog go unattended for almost 3 weeks ever again, and watch the finale of Step It Up & Dance, to which I have been hopelessly devoted. It makes me clap...when I'm alone.

And even if it's my wishful daydreams making me clap, at least I'm clapping and smiling - genuinely - at something. I wish the same for you.